2期作业展示2014年考研英语二小作文(作业设计展示)

gong2022 2023-12-25 16:48:57 考研机构培训班 ℃ 评论 AD

二期06次作文批改展示来啦

本次展示内容为2014年英语二小作文

首要

先来check一下作文真题叭

真题

dear john,
i am glad that you and i are to be roommates这句表达有点新鲜哈，改为i'm glad/delighted to be your roomate during my overseas study and i cannot wait to meet you! before my moving there, i consider it a must to have a basic understanding of each other's living habits.
as a typical chinese, i observe traditional chinese living habits. for example, i go to bed and get up early; i am used to keeping my room tidy. by the way, i love chinese dishes and cooking them at home. i beg your tolerance for the occasional noise and smell of cooking. there must be some living rules in your hometown. would you please explain them to me and offer some advice? i am looking forward to your reply.这三句可以另起一段作为结束。
yours,
li ming

内容逻辑（3分）：1.5

言语表达（3分）: 2.5

语法基础（3分）：2

格局（1分）：1

总分（10分）：7

评语

这篇要用比照宛转的口气寻求对方的主张，和肄业同窗的交流口气大约比照和蔼天然并体现出对同学的尊敬，在后边的函件写作中也需要留心到用词和情豪情绪。这一点表达的还不错哦！

句式有点单一了，特别第二段，一切语句都是i +v. 。倒装句、偏重句、从句等等都可以用起来。前后有因果联络、说明联络的试着用联接词或许从句讲两个语句写成一句。

期间主张仍是三段式哈。结束另起一段，可以照顾首段提出等待、问询主张，i really have a good expectation for my study and living there and i will very appreciate your help and advice.

dear john,
hello guys你写信的目标是一自个噢，hello guys合适多自个打招待，而且用在函件中不太适合,my thanks 这句话不太无缺，这句话的骨干有些my thanks to you “对你的谢谢”不是一个无缺的语句呀，这只是一个名词。后边 for taking precious time to read this email 是for引导的缘由状语。主张你批改为i'm writing to express my thanks to ...这样语句就无缺了 to you for taking precious time readto do不定式，read改为to read this email.as one who is a overseas元音音素最初的单词前用an student,i would like to go to your school studying我想去你们学校学习，这儿标明还没有去，即将去用to do 不定式。studying 改为to study several years表时刻段，这个时刻段前需要介词for . i am writing this email genuinely to express my situation.
most momentous of all,there are some 介词of别忘了，some of my habitsmy important habits that i don't know whetherwhether标明“是不是”，“我不晓得我是不是可以习气...”whether i can adapt to... adapt the foreign school固定分配，习气adapt to，介词缺失 .what diligent这儿是what引导的主语从句，what is diligent 是主语从句 is 不要忘掉了 is that i can't stop running on the playground every morning. meanwhile,i am so ambitious that i am willing to read books in our classroom.in addition,if you were me, you should adapt to living new life.please tell me some advice.这句写得不可好噢，言语比照生硬。你期望对方可以给你供给一些主张可以说：i would like to extend my greatest appreciation if you could give me some practical living skills in your country.或许since this is my first time abroad，i don't know the living habits of your country. if you feel uncomfortable, please communicate with me.
i hope you will take my problems and situations into serious consideration.best wishes for you! i bless you that everyevery标明“每个”，这儿改为everything 标明祝你万事顺意 goes well!
yours truly,
li ming

内容逻辑（3分）：2

言语表达（3分）：1.5

语法基础（3分）：1.5

格局（1分）：1

总分（10分）：6

评语

1、还需要温习安靖的语法疑问包括：主语从句、a/an的用法、介词的用法、动词短语的固定分配、to do不定式和doing的差异等

2、这封信一个比照显着的疑问就是情豪情绪。题需求写一封主张信，大约用比照宛转的口气寻求对方的主张，和肄业同窗的交流口气大约比照和蔼天然并体现出对同学的尊敬。整篇小作文读下来，在用词上还需要多斟酌一下。口气仍是需要愈加友爱、谦善一些。如最初标明自个写信的来由i'm writing to ...and share something about me。

参阅表达：i really have a good expectation for my study and living there and i will very appreciate your help and advice.

dear john,

i am li ming who will become your new roommate in america. i am writing this email to tell mysome living habits to you. (1.量词冗余，其实habits，-s就隐含复数的概念，这儿主张删去some;2.tell sth to sb=tell sb sth-告诉或人某事。tell sb about sth-向或人叙说某事更契合语境，而且也是标题给出的，主张批改为tell you about my living habits )

first and foremost, i prefer going to bed before 10 p.m. and never stay up ,because in my perspective, having a healthy physical condition is necessary for our daily life and work. （这儿的stay 大约和going平行，用staying的方法；主张这儿stay up后边要么句号，或许和后边换一下次序。将有关词放在一同，尽量不要把主语和谓语分隔，除非有同位语或联络从句。主张批改为in my perspective ,having a healthy physical condition is necessary for our daily life and work,so that i prefer going to bed before 10 p.m and never staying up.）in addition, comparing with living in a dirty environment, i am inclined to keep my clean, because which can enable me to have a good mood all day. （首要提一个疑问哈，是啥和你前面这个环境比照呢？洁净规整的环境对吧，可是你后边的语句却没有体现这个逻辑主语，而是用了i。首要，这儿大约用compared，其次后边的主句的主语大约是契合逻辑的a cle

an,well-kept environment。2.反身代词的的用法还不太了解，这儿大约是keep myself clean3. 假定这儿要用which ，就不必because了，并排句和从句需要再想一想噢。这句可以改成：compared with a dirty environment ,a clean,well-kept environment is my preference, because it enables me to have a good mood all day.；用神态动词的时分需要思考一下是有必要的吗，假定没有必要则不加。）finally, it would be greatly appreciated if you could share some advice about living there with me.

i am looking forward to your early reply.

yours,

li ming

内容逻辑（3分）：2

言语表达（3分）：2

语法基础（3分）：2

格局（1分）：1

总分：7

评语

哈喽，小火伴～这是第五次的作文批改了。需求是闭卷掐时刻写，尽管可以会呈现一些疑问，但早点了解感触对你们来说必定是好的。你全体的结束度还不错。?

首要，内容逻辑方面，全体的三段规划没啥疑问，结束了标题的需求。可是单个语句的逻辑不可活络，你看你中心一段的前两个语句都是xxx，because.....，主张参阅我给你的批改一下，之后写作文也可以参阅一下不一样的语句写作逻辑。

言语表达方面，没啥拼写差错，不错。短语和固定分配中规中矩，这方面仍是要一向堆集。句式的运用正如我前面所说的，略微有些捆绑了，可以堆集一下一些句式，了解一些他们的逻辑。有不理解的话可以来问我。

语法方面，需要温习反身代词的用法。另外，连词像and,but, 等这些联接并排句，而which,that等则是联络词，他们引导复合句，不要混杂了。另外就是中式英语的疑问，一是不必要的冗余，比方"some"润饰名词复数，不必要的神态动词，去掉这些会让你的作文更洁净稳当。还有就是用非谓语动词作状语时，主句的主语要和其逻辑主语共同。

信赖你??，持续加油～

dear john，

my name is liming留心人名的正确写法噢，li ming, a chinese student . i am going to study in your country and become your roommate . i am writing this letter to share you with my living habits固定分配share sb. sth.或许share sth. to/with sb.或许share with sb. sth. 这儿批改为share my living to you and ask for some suggestions with这样表达用介词from 更适合一点you .

to begin with ,i am used to running every morning and taking shower after exercise.so if i bring any convenience根据语境，是不是想表达“假定带来不便利”，这儿convenience改为inconvenience to your life,please let me know. in addition, i like cooking and i can make delicious food. i am sure you will like chinese food such as dumplings.

at last,could you give me some advice about living there?i will appreciate your suggestions .best wishes.

yours sincerely,

limingli ming

内容逻辑（3分）：2

言语表达（3分）：2

语法基础（3分）：2

格局（1分）：1

总分（10分）：7

评语

这篇小作文结束的不错噢！奉告自个的习气和寻求主张都需要留心掌控口气，你都有留心到，这点棒棒！

内容逻辑逻辑上没有疑问，可是在言语的丰厚性上有待前进哈。第一段里根柢都是i am +doing 最初。语法上没疑问，就是句式有些单一。参阅表达：i'm li ming. as an overseas student from china, i feel delighted to be your roommate next semester. in order to better integrate into the collective life, i'm writing to introduce you some of my living habits and asking you for advice.

语法疑问上，介词的运用还有点迷糊噢。尽管得分情况，可是咱们如何判别啥时分该用啥介词，有时分可以根据介词的根柢意义和常见用法来判别。比方with是常用来标明“和”“一起承担”，from“来自”等等。固定分配也得堆集着。

更多信息，请联络咱们的英语小辅佐哦～

（左）爱传达英语小辅佐杨杨（aichuanbo2022）

（右）爱传达英语小辅佐小小（aichuanbo2023）

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